How do you even start to download… What. Just. Happened? The support around my A-race from well ‘kint’ faces to complete strangers has been absolutely amazing. From friends and family being as ‘all in’ as myself, right through to runners that had watched the podcast and wanted to say hello on the course. Everything takes a team, all the working parts individually do not amount to the sum of all the parts. That was the story of the weekend, the machine worked. I will try and use my “power song” to describe the weekend….take it away Cher.
You’re strutting into town like your slingin’ a gun, just a small town dude with a big city attitude
Cher
Arriving at Blair Atholl it was dry, forecast checked, re-checked, different site, re-checked but the perfect answer was never found…there looked to be rain – from 12pm – 6pm then 6:05pm to 12am. Tent popped up, gazebo set up and organised. Feeling confident, I’ve trained, I’ve done the hard work, train hard run easy…it should be a given. One thing I’ve learned is that this format owes you nothing. Turning up to pick up an easy/safe 100 miles…think again…and while your thinking again, park your expectations next to your ego at the door.
Honey are you looking for some trouble tonight…well alright
cher
A night in a field, in the rain didn’t douse excitement. My crew were forming around me. Steve had arrived with the campervan (a haven from the leaking gazebo in the early hours), and Dave Squared were bouncing off each other like a Northern Irish / Glasgow spoof Chuckle Brother team…I swear DA would still be adjusting his tent if the event hadn’t just finished. Our tent, soon linked to another tent, and to another tent and a village was born. Amanda (Turriff Running Club) next door ran strong achieved her goal before retiring to the warmth of her B&B, Whilst Andrew shared how he had been second in his last two LOS…I joked twice the bridesmaid thrice the bride….He would go on to record 39 laps and become the Last one Standing.
If you can give it, I can take it, ’cause if this heart is gonna break it’s gonna take a lot to break it
cher
We assembled in the pen. We were briefed on the whistle. Three blows for 3 minute countdown, 2 for 2 and 1 for you guessed it….the screech of three single blasts of the whistle broke many hearts throughout the night…but for now it started the race, unleash the enthusiasm, 3…2…1…Go.
Hours 0-4 12pm – 16pm 0-16.8miles
Discussing with Dave More, I was going to size the course up and really consolidate where to walk/run. What the course was like in the rain. What the grass section would be like before being trampled and after 150 runners had been over it. More importantly – eat. Fuel now, keep the fuel strategy. The fuelling consisted of butteries & jam, bananas, tuna sandwiches and alternating each lap. The concept of the race meant that you had to cram this food in during your allocated time before starting again or take it onto the course. I felt I was eating well and the three guys were great at preparing and encouraging the food eating. I was starting to get really full and my stomach was struggling with the food, electrolyte drinks and then running straight after refueling. Something that the next section would be dogged by.
Hours 4-8 16:00-20:00 33.6miles
I was joined on these laps by Lynne. Lynne, I hadn’t met before, kept me company. I was struggling with my stomach. Lynne had caught the podcast about the event and wanted to say “hello” I was grateful of her company. I was struggling in camp, using my time to go to the toilet and struggling to keep on top of the fueling. I knew that I wasn’t getting enough onboard and after a heart to heart with Dave More he told me to miss out the fueling for one lap. Take a gel whilst on the walking part (small amounts) and also take a few jelly sweets on the way around. Myself and Lynne aptly named the climb “hula hoop hill” where she would eat her hula hoops and “gel hell” where I would suckle on my gel. Here and now was where the mantra – one more loop was the only thing to keep me going. Legs fine, mind fine, stomach – not at the races.
your heart is down for the count and you know your gonna lose it, tonight your gonna go down in flames just like Jessie James
cher
Hours 8-12 20:00-00:00 50.4miles
Something changed here. The weather got heavier, the rain reduced us to waterproofs. The sky darker reduced us to head torches. The relationship with Lynne suddenly became a special one. I used her expectancy to meet at the start of each loop as accountability. I’ll never know why but I also wanted to ensure she could get around safely. I hope she doesn’t mind me writing this, but Lynne hadn’t ever ran in the dark. She had more torches than B&Q, I teased her that she could light up the whole hill. That people would wonder who let the car up onto the hill whenever she turned the torches on. I used this as a tool. No matter how bad I felt, I wanted to ensure Lynne felt better. I will probably never run with her again, or had ever met her before but suddenly she became an important part of me keeping on keeping on. Lynne spoke, I listened. Loop after loop. We got through the dark phase. We spoke about running, techniques to relieve her abdominal pain and knee pain until she wasn’t there. 11-12 laps in the dark once set off we never crossed paths again. The reason I go into detail about this is two fold. One, someone that had never before been present in my running suddenly became the one thing to keep me running. Secondly, Dave Scott spoke about speaking to people on the route as these friendships guide and get you around. I never appreciated this, even dismissed it because “I’m not the chatting type”, but this was so important. Lynne went on to run 50.4 and DNF’d at 12 hours. Smiling with her longest distance to date and a huge step to conquering her fear of running in the dark.
I know tonight somebody’s gonna win the fight so if your so tough come on and prove it
cher
Hours 12-16 00:00-04:00 67.2miles
The rain continued. There were cracks of lightning and rolls of thunder. The field was being diluted with every passing lap. After joking about head torches running out..would you believe it 3 flashes 2km into the run, my torch went off. Panic, shit, WTF. No way I can make it back to pick up a spare, no way I can literally see this lap out safely. After the initial react phase, the sessions with Don Vasey echoed in my head. Solve the problem. I walked until another runner came up behind me. I was able to put my head torch on charge ( Power pack that my phone was connected to but the torch wouldn’t switch on when attached to the power pack) hopefully 15-20 minutes of charge should be enough to give me light through the heavily wooded section. Run walking in time to the other runner’s pace I managed to get to the top of the hill. Everytime I started running it seemed like he would look away, and in doing so take the light away…but I am sure that was my pessimistic brain playing tricks. Switching the headtorch onto the lowest setting. I looked to the sky and murmured “let there be light” and there was. Crisis averted. We had overcome one issue. The other issue was still fueling. I was keen to keep this as sleepy time, no caffeine or music but I knew soon both would be tools saved for a rainy day….and it wasn’t getting any drier. Laps were getting longer, recovery getting shorter. Doubt creeping in. This is where you have to be brave. I repeated ” you have to want it, you have to keep in the game, don’t be a Jessie, James”
well you ain’t so strong, won’t be long till your hands are tied, tonight I’m gonna take you in dead or alive, that’s right
cher
Hours 16-20 04:00-08:00 84 miles
It’s always darkest before the dawn. The dark ebbed away to light. The rain ebbed away to warmth. Brushed my teeth, wake up. Steve could have earned his michelin stars in the breakfast he prepared. Ambroise Cream Rice, half a jam sandwich and an iced latte. Something happened. Playlist “power up” – come on Cher what have you got?
I started the lap, same walk/run landmarks, and I found myself 3rd or 4th runner. Feeling strong. Feeling like I had just started. I was going WAY to fast for 84 miles in my legs. I have heard the 40% rule before. When you think you’re done you’re only 40% done, there is always something in the tank. I half believed it, maybe it was true, maybe its just something someone has coined to make money…. I was flying. I mean 6:45min/km flying, but all the negatives that came with the night turned to positives with the light. James you still have 60% to go … what can you do. I had also started a routine of creating accountability. I was now dedicating a lap to the people that had gotten me to this point. No matter how tight the turnaround time was we always got a dedication in. This fueled the lap, this increased the motivation for each lap. I also took a little strength from knowing how many dropped each lap. I wished every runner the best, but if there were less in the field I would use that also as strength to get out again.
You think you’ll knock me off my feet ’til I’m flat on the floor, ’til my heart is calling Indian and I’m begging for more
cher
Hours 20-23 08:00-11:00 96.6miles
Three 45 minute laps in a row (in context previously 49-53 minutes were the previous logged times) there was a little panic in camp. Slow the F*ck down. You still have laps to complete. You injure yourself by unnecessarily going to fast, would be the equivalent of scoring a hat-trick in your own goal. You would self sabotage your goal. You lads keep hitting me with Rice, jam and coffee let me deal with the running. Lap 23 came. I wanted to keep this one for my main reason for running. I didn’t (and still don’t) fully know how to handle my grief of losing a friend. I had spent the whole of lap 22 thinking how to do him justice in a social post dedication. I had it all planned, practiced but when the video rolled, I wanted to say so much more. About how much he means to not just me but to all his friends / family. I think this was the reason the laps were getting too quick, I was getting emotional. Something Don had warned me may happen. Friday afternoon, I swung past the grave, made a promise, had a moment. I got into distance running, firstly to raise money and secondly probably to help handle my grief. Ritchie was there at the end of the Moray Coastal 50-miler. He was so proud of that achievement and raising money for Brain Tumour Awareness. He would have been there every step of the 23rd lap and every other lap. I was told this week, the only person that has the key to get out of your own hurt locker is you. RJL was my key. He sorted things when he was with us, and he is still sorting us out everyday.
You break the laws of love in the name of desire, take ten steps back ’cause I’m ready baby aim and fire
cher
Hours 23-24 11:00-12:07 101 miles
Taking a spoof of the infamous Snoop Dogg acceptance speech where he thanks himself for his success, my last post was the same. I wanted the last lap for me. The time sacrificed away from the family. The long runs. The discipline when motivation was long gone. The ability to look within, to have the courage to give it a go. I literally was a small time dude with a big city dream. 100 miles is big. 100 miles with 2500+m elevation is big. The goal was achieved by more than me, but I had to back myself. I’m introverted, and to be open with the goals I set on social can sometimes work against me. I backed myself, and I got the reward. Crossing the line the crew got me ready to go back out for lap 25. Physically I was hanging together. Left knee wasn’t right, both quads expectedly sore from the relentless downhill but the big thing was I had no desire left. I stood on the line as a token thank you to the guys that had helped me through. The countdown came and went and suddenly I was off on another loop. I ran the grass then the first few steps on concrete consolidated that my day was done. I walked back to the start. The ceremony for DNFing took place. 24:07 hrs of running 101miles 2500+m elevation – out.
Well you’ve had your way with love but it’s the end of the day, now a team of wild horses couldn’t drag your heart away
cher
The day after the day before…. the thanks go out to so many people.
Coach Ginie – would never have been ready for the challenge if you weren’t so dedicated to the plan and being flexible when life got in the way.
The Dave’s – so much experience and advice, offering solutions when all I could see was problems. Only met Dave More one week before at Duthie Park but his presence and advice was invaluable. Dave Andrews – the ability to motivate and keep the head in the game. Took the emotion out of it, get down to business.
Steve – Absolute rock. I can imagine running after me wouldn’t have been his first choice for fun, but he did utter the words “I’m enjoying myself” really helped settle my racing mind thinking the weather, camp and the boredom would make it miserable for the him. He knew exactly how to handle me, not pushing things but being assertive when needed during #mugshotgate how much water is too much, how much water is too little – we will never know. The social media presence he created over the event was fantastic and the amount of people that have enjoyed his posts / updates has been phenomenal. If he wasn’t so good at his day job I’d hire him to run @physiorun.
Sarah and the boys – For allowing me to firstly dream, then chase dreams and finally achieve them. For inspiring and loving daddy’s weird obsession with running. For calling and texting to make sure I was alright. Lastly for creating an environment where I can be myself and continue to keep on keeping on.
Marshalls and Race Directors – Absolute legends. Great event, tough love. Never been so delighted to be called a big fanny when DNF’ing. The love of running seeped out of every marshall more than the rain, more than the wind and more than the lightning.
Ultra runners – Competitive enough to challenge, kind enough to care. From giving just enough light to keep me safe, to not enough that I would race off 🙂 … Shout out to Amanda, Andrew, Lynne, Ewan, Mike, Gary, Pim, Mark, Stuart who would have their own experience on the day. Pim sacrificed some of his water on the 24th lap where I almost ran dry with too many quicker laps prior…never told the crew that I almost never finished the last lap.
Dream big, share your dreams, have passion.
Thanks for reading, please share when you can.
James